Dream of Death
by Salubrious
Summary: What Kubota love and fear most are mixed up in his jumbled up, complicated mind.


I don't think this is my best but I did try my best to write it. I hope you'll enjoy it. First thing, the last WA I read is vol 2 so I'm kinda like lost or not up-to-date. Does anyone know where to read WA mangas??? If anyone can tell me, I'd be very grateful. XD

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sky wore dark mask as we ran down the streets, it felt like as if we were chasing an infinite nothingness. The buildings that trained along the empty road were melting with despair, windows aglow like depressed eyes, pierced through our visions. I held his hand tightly, my other hand armed with a loaded handgun, the only weapon I could obtain. I turned to my left to see Tokitoh, whose whole body was showered in beautiful blue, unlike our surroundings.

We were running. We were running for a reason I had no explanation. We were running for our sake. We were running for our lives. But we hid all the expressions and just kept running.

Tokitoh stopped in his tracks, halting my pace with him. Behind my glasses, I looked at him quizzically. We need to run now. Tokitoh, his chest puffing with anger and exhaustion, slowly slipped his gloved hand away from my grip. He retreated a few steps back and with eyes burning with hatred of great intensity, took grip of a car. He swung the great metal over his head and threw it away for a great few feet and landed on his targets. The vehicles' great weight crushed the unfortunate beings under it. I heard the silent scream, a crash and crushes of bones. That was only the end of a few of them. There are still others who were chasing us. Oddly, there was only hushed stillness in the air.

We continued our run. We had no choice. Run or die. A few hours ago, we heard Kasai-san's panicked voice through my phone, warning us of some danger. So we rushed to his place, only to find him sprawled dead on his bed, his cell phone still in his hand, a .45 through his head. The constant beeping sound at the other end of his phone haunted my run but I needed it out of my head. I still have someone to protect right now.

We turned at a corner and took a shortcut. I caught sight of one of our foes, a rifle in one hand. With great accuracy, I shot him between the eyes. One bullet wasted for another worthless enemy. We sped up and reached the building. It was a familiar sight. It was our home.

Tokitoh leaped up the stairs with an agility of a cat which I admired since the day we met. His long legs missed one step and fell backwards. I caught him but with a little difficulties since he added some weight living with me.

"Thanks, Kubo-chan… I thought we were gonna roll down there…"

"Still, be careful," I advised him with a smile. He swept away my words with a blush hidden behind his "Bah… I'm always careful…" and ran up the stairs again.

We opened the door and there was the familiar smell of cigarettes and spilled coffee in the room. Tokitoh's knees buckled and he panted, his mind relieved at the sight of the same old place again. I locked the door behind us and looked around. There was no sign of intrusion but I still looked through the house. I reached the bedroom and saw the small bed we shared at night. It felt like it was years ago when I felt Tokitoh's body beside me at night, slowly sleeping away into his dreamland.

I sat on the bed and for the first time appreciated the soft texture of the bed, comforting me with the memories of the past which I shared with Tokitoh. There were not much to reminisce about but every memories was like the autumn leaves. Filled with prophecies of death in every rustle, slowly falling to the ground and get mixed with other leaves. And they slowly decay, if not today, tomorrow…

I plopped down on the unmade bed and closed my eyes. This was the first time I actually felt trapped. I actually felt something. I felt scared.

I have to admit, I am a little bit of a hypocrite. I had never mentioned my fears nor dare to express it. I had propelled through seas of inertia, dodged reefs of demise and fed my mind with loneliness. I had survived each wave, each time it left me with a feeling I hated to bear. But I almost drowned when I met Komiya. He was the first to get me choked back to reality and see what the world has to offer. It was a friend.

I had a silent passion for him but he was slow to see. I wanted him to know but he was blurred by the pains of living. I almost reached him when he bailed out on me, what was worse; he let me see his departure.

I remembered his feeble grip that rainy night, and remembered how painful it was to touch his hand and watch his life dissipate away in pain; his bloody mouth uttered his last words that changed my life after that.

I opened my eyes. I did not dare to remember that face again. It was weird. You always seemed to recall somebody's face or remember the conversation you had with someone else but you uttered those words in your own voice. When at night I tried to sleep, I always remembered how Tokitoh got so fuzzy about finishing his game first before going to bed. He cursed in defeat and retreated to bed. I remembered that well because it was funny. But all the words Tokitoh said were repeated in my own voice inside my head. I hated it. I wanted Tokitoh's genuine voice.

Tokotoh shoved a bottle of beer in front of me. I sat up and looked at the bottle then looked at him.

Tokitoh stared at me. He shrugged and said "We might as well have some drink…"

I nodded and accepted his offer. As I popped open my bottle, Tokitoh climbed on the bed to join me. He took a long gulp just as soon as he got a place to sit. I drank mine.

We did not talk much. We knew what was coming next; words were trivial at this time…

"Gonna miss this."

"Hm? Miss what?"

"This." Tokitoh said casually with a tang of melancholy.

I shrugged and swung an arm over his shoulder.

"Kubo-chan…"

"Hm?"

"You stink."

I realized how I smelt that time. Odd… it must have been from all the running and sweating.

I took a whiff of Tokitoh and smelt a wonderful smell of wild flowers, the kind of soap we used here.

"Kubo-chan, are you sniffing me?"

"How would you know?"

"Even an ant can hear you sniff,"

"How would you know if ants have any ears or not?"

Tokitoh opened his mouth to answer but closed it again. He opened it, close, open, close.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest in frustration, puffed in defeat.

"Aa… our bishounen is finally admitting his own defeat,"

"Hmph, a TRUE bishounen would be wise enough not to answer your stupid question,"

"Hm…" I wondered playfully "You are true about that..." I teased him.

Tokitoh realized this and stayed silent. The next moment, I saw his face blushed as I leaned closer, burying my face in his collarbone. "Gak… K… Kubo-chan? What are you...?"

I heaved a heavy sigh. "Tokitoh, you smell like 7/11…"

"I… smell???"

"Yeah, every time I went there alone to buy our soap, the smell reminds me of you. Made me think that you were beside me…"

Tokitoh had no comment at this point. It was true, when I smelled wild flowers, it peaked a feeling inside me. A feeling so unknown and when it first came, it almost made tears escape my eyes. No, it was not sadness, it was not overjoyed either. It was just this feeling you get,

when it reminds you of something so pleasant you feel a warm feeling slowly bloom inside. It made your spirit soar high. It was the nicest sensation yet it will be gone after there was no such smell anymore. You knew it won't come again for another long, long, long time.

I look up to meet Tokitoh's lips, then my sight hiked up his face and landed at his eyes.

Honestly, Tokitoh seems hard on the outside but he understands people well. He observes them. He scrutinizes them. He'll counter them according to what he knows about that person. Like right now, Tokitoh's learning that I needed him and he was trying to respond but to no avail. He just looked at me, staring, sad, pity, angry at being so frozen right now, all mixed in one.

The both of us heard the noises below, ready to charge at our place.

I held my bottle up to his face.

Tokitoh understood the signal and for the first time that night, we cheered in silence.

Tokitoh, you were the first one who finally pulled me out of the water, you let me breathe what is right in this world.

You gave me the kiss of life, and let me live, just so that I could see you again.

You warmed me from the coldness of the sea and even though I had never had the chance, I wanted to say

"Sorry…"

"Unh? You said something?"

We heard the door slammed open. Tokitoh got up while I reached for my gun. The last thing I heard was gunshots, then there were only sepia images blotched with crimson as we dashed through our enemies. We, Tokitoh and I, had known earlier that we had made reservation for this kind of fate when we met on that fateful day. We knew we had been digging our own grave and now we had reached six feet under. It was time to start the burial.

"kubo-chan…" Tokitoh's faint voice crawled through the commotion.

I saw as he writhed painfully on the floor, clutching his stomach. He was almost gone in the hands of the drug.

"Kubo-chan…" even louder but I could not reach him.

"**KUBO-CHAN!!!" **

I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was a pair of concerned blue eyes. I looked at Tokitoh. He was fully awake from his slumber.

"Nh…?" I looked around the room and found out that we were not surrounded by armed yakuzas. We were absolutely alone that night. The tip of my hands and legs were stiff and cold as if I have been in a fully air-conditioned room. I was sweating, I was a little shaken but I recovered. I looked at that face then my eyes traveled down to his stomach, fearing that his guts might explode at the spot. Fearing that my dream might come true.

Tokitoh mistook my look and defensively asked "Wha… What are you looking at, you perv?!" He did not wait for my response but turned away and faced the wall. He resumed back to his sleep.

"Tokitoh…"

"Hmnh… what???"

"Remind me not to eat curry again…"

Tokitoh sat up surprised and looked at me straight in the eye. "Really? Kubo-chan?? No more curry?!" he said, half-smiling his victory at finally hearing those words materialize from my own mouth.

"I suppose… Gave me a bit dream there…"

"Yes!! No more curry!!!" Tokitoh punched his fist into the air and sang a small song mocking the particularly hated food.

"So what are we gonna eat? Pizza? Sushi?? Burgers????"

I did not answer him. Still thinking…

"Instant noodles."

A totally big and annoyed vein popped up on Tokitoh's head. Uh... scary face there.

"Kubo-chan, we'll get BALD eating that stuff everyday!!!" he protested. I just smiled, obviously pissing him off. I went back to sleep again.

"Kubo-chan, hey, you lazy bum!! Kubo-chan, I don't wanna get bald!"

"But we'll get bald together," I replied him. Yes, I was playing around with the guy. It was quite an entertainment for the night.

"I don't want!!!"

"Then, we'll have curry."

"WHAT!!??? But, but…!!!"

All night he tried to pester me but I didn't mind. Really. I didn't.

-oyasumi-nasai…-


End file.
